Flirting 101
by Ultrawoman
Summary: One-Shot. 'Missing scene' for The Morning After Job. Parker is nervous about her part in the con against Mark Vector. Eliot tries to help her out, with unexpected consequences for both of them! E/P.


**A/N: There seems to be no end to my inspiration for writing fic of later! And so, here we have another one-shot, spawned out of my recent rewatching of Season 3, in particular The Morning After Job. This might be called a missing scene, if you like. I would certainly like to imagine it really did occur - what do you think?**

_**Disclaimers: Characters from Leverage belong to John Rogers, Chris Downey, and other important people that aren't me.**_

Parker felt ridiculous, and nauseous, and completely out of her depth, and nauseous a couple more times. This was crazy, she wasn't a grifter, she couldn't do this, too much was at stake. Mark Vector was the key to Moreau, if she screwed this up then Nate could end up back to jail and the rest of them would be on the run for the rest of their lives from The Italian's people. It was too much pressure, and Parker couldn't breathe.

"Calm down, calm down," she told herself, gripping the sides of the basin with both hands and meeting her own gaze in the mirror above. "I can do this," she said with determination. "Just remember what Sophie said. Be flirty, be natural," she repeated words the grifter had said, shaking her head and trying to get into character.

Parker stepped back, put a hand on her hip and painted on a smile. She watched herself in the mirror as she spoke, pretending she was facing Vector and playing her part for the con.

"Oh, hey, aren't you Mark Vector?" she said with a girlish giggle. "I'm such a big fan. You wanna come back to my place?" she tried, changing her tone and looking through her lashes then. "Come up to my place".

Outside the bathroom, Eliot was walking by the door when he heard what seemed to be Parker talking to herself. He would've just muttered 'there's something wrong with her' and kept walking except for the very next minute there was a crash and a yelp that couldn't be good. Eliot paused and listened a moment to the scrabbling around of Parker trying to pick up all the stuff she just knocked over.

"Hey, Parker?" he called, tapping on the door with his fist. "You okay in there?"

There was a muttering of words that he couldn't make out and then suddenly the door opened. Before Eliot could react, an arm shot out, her hand grabbing his and pulling him inside. The bathroom door was shut behind him and the hitter growled.

"What the hell, Parker?" he asked crossly, not appreciating the sudden need to drag him in here.

"I need your help," she told him, even as she shoved the last bottle of shampoo and packet of aspirin back into their places - she really shouldn't have gotten so dramatic with her moments and whacked the whole lot on the floor.

"Help with what?" asked Eliot warily, after all he was stood opposite Parker in the bathroom right now, and she was twenty pounds of crazy in a five pound bag.

"The con," she replied with an eye roll as if it was exasperating that he didn't already know that. "I can't... I can't flirt, Eliot, you know I can't, but that's what Nate and Sophie want me to do and I don't even know where to start".

Parker didn't get flustered by much. She was always calm in her work, never panicked when asked to crack a safe or drop down an elevator shaft or anything. This was different. When it came to the grift, that was Parker's weakness. She didn't handle people well, no matter what the situation, and this was pretending to want to get with a guy, one with a rep for violence as well as sleeping with any pretty girl that crossed his path. Parker was scared and she was asking for Eliot's help; he had no choice here.

"Sweetheart, you can do this," he told her gently. "Sophie's given you good advice, Nate's gonna be right there in your ear..."

"That's not the point!" she huffed, turning away, leaning over the sink again, slamming her hand on the side in a moment's frustration. "It all comes down to me, Eliot, all of it. If I screw up..."

She stopped talking because to speak the consequences made them all the more real. Eliot's hand landed on her shoulder in a comforting gesture as he stepped up behind her.

"Hey," he got her attention in the mirror. "Why would you screw up? You got this".

"Maybe I can handle the flirting, _maybe_," she conceded, "but if he touches me, you know how I react, I... I stab," she said shakily, feeling as if she wanted to cry, even though it was dumb.

"Er, Parker?" said Eliot behind her, and she met his eyes in the mirror once again. "Darlin', I'm touchin' you right now, and no stabbing," he pointed out.

It was only then that Parker turned and realised he was right. His hand had been at her shoulder and back this whole time, and she hadn't even flinched. That was weird, or at least it should be, the thief thought, as she turned to face Eliot now and his hand fell away.

"That's different" she said as she considered things. "I knew you were there, and you were trying to be nice and stuff," she squirmed a little, suddenly finding the small room felt even smaller.

Why she had dragged Eliot into the bathroom, she wasn't really sure anymore. This was dumb, he wasn't going to be able to help her. Sophie was the grifter, and though Eliot was capable in that area, she doubted there was anything he could say or do to make her not want to stab Vector if he so much as looked as if he might lay a hand on her in any kind of sexual way.

"Okay, here's what we're gonna do," Eliot said then, putting his hands to Parker's shoulders. "Close your eyes".

"Why?" she asked, eyes narrowing rather than closing as instructed.

"'Cause I'm trying to help you!" he snapped some without meaning to, and though Parker huffed indignantly at his tone, she did as she was told anyway.

Eliot waited a moment then took his hands away. He waved in front of Parker's face and when she didn't react he was satisfied she really wasn't seeing anything. He wasn't certain this was going to work, but it was clear that Parker was freaking out over this whole Vector thing. She needed help, some reassurance that she could cope with this grift. Nobody else was here to give her what she needed, and so once again it was up to Eliot to save the day.

"Okay," he said then, trying to figure out how to play this without it all going horribly wrong. "So, let's try this, imagine that you're at the airport, about to meet Vector".

"How is this helping? He's not here…" she interrupted much to Eliot's annoyance.

"I'm gonna be Vector, okay? It's just pretend, Parker, for practise," he told her crossly. "Now close your eyes again," he urged her when she squinted at him out of one eye.

Once again, she huffed and puffed but did as she was told a moment later.

"So, you're meeting Vector, and yeah, he's a tough scary guy, but you, you're Alice White, and you're in control of the situation," he told her in a calm even tone. "No matter what happens, you are in charge of this thing, okay?"

Parker nodded her head and repeated his words.

"I'm Alice and I'm totally in control," she said, taking a deep breath.

"So you bump into the guy accidentally on purpose," Eliot prompted and Parker deliberately peeked out of one eye, stepping forward toward Eliot so she bumped her shoulder against his own.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she laughed girlishly. "I'm just having the worst day and… wait a second, don't I know you?" she asked, seeming a little silly with her eyes closed, but Eliot knew it would help her to make pretend here.

"I played a little hockey back in the day," said the hitter in a fake, dumb sounding voice that usually would have made Parker laugh, but she was concentrating so hard, it just didn't happen today.

"Oh my God, you're Mark Vector!" she gasped, slapping him across the arm for good measure.

Eliot rubbed the spot that stung a little – the thief really was a lot tougher than she looked and he hadn't been quite ready for that one.

"I saw you hit a guy so hard once his helmet cracked!" Parker continued.

"Yeah, well, I'm a big tough guy," Eliot mocked the man he was imitating, but the thief carried on regardless.

"Yeah, you really are" she said with a smile he'd never seen on her face before and was a little hypnostied by now. "We should go get a drink. There's a bar right by my place," she told him.

Eliot shook his head to bring himself out of a mini daze when Parker peeked at him through one eye.

"See, you did fine," he told her as she looked at him fully then. "You didn't freak out, you stayed in control".

"That was the easy part," Parker sighed heavily. "Picking the guy up is fine. It's at the bar, with the drinking, and the getting him to wanna have sex with me".

"Sweetheart, have you seen you?" Eliot smirked at her then, as Parker took his words literally and looked into the mirror again. "It's not gonna take much for any guy to wanna… get to know you better," he said, instead of repeating her own less carefully worded phrasing.

Mentioning sex and Parker in the same breath could only lead to badness. The bathroom already felt smaller than it should as she looked back at him then. Had he just implied that Parker was so sexy that he would want to sleep with her himself? This was not going according to the plan!

"Sophie said I should be a… a sexy tomboy," she read from a piece of paper pulled from her pocket. "You think that'll work?"

"I guess so," Eliot shrugged. "Some guys go for that, and it's an easy in for the violent ending to the story," he explained. "Like before, when you slapped me in the arm? You do that with him, we can use that. You sock him in the shoulder, it's all innocent and fun, but later Nate can use that, make him think after you hit him, he hit you, and things got outta hand".

Parker nodded along, knowing it all made sense, but still kind of freaked out about her role. No matter what Eliot said, she still didn't have the confidence in herself to grift, not where guys and intimacy were involved.

"You still nervous?" he checked, as he watched her shift uncomfortably.

"Yeah," she admitted. "I just, I keep thinking, what if I hit him and he tries to stop me, like he grabs me or tries to kiss me or something? I'm gonna… I'm gonna stab or something. It's what I do, Eliot".

"There have been no nice guys in your life, have there?" he sighed, feeling bad for her.

Of course, it occurred to all women that some men couldn't be trusted. They had to stay alert, they had to be ready for a nice looking guy to turn bad, try something they didn't want. The trouble was, Parker never had a good guy be passionate with her without stepping over a line or similar. Right about now, Eliot's heart was breaking for her.

"Okay," he said after a long moment. "Close your eyes again".

Parker complied without even making a fuss this time, and Eliot steeled himself over what came next. He was crossing a line with her, and he knew it. They could say it was all for the sake of the con and didn't mean anything but it could easily change things. There was no doubting Hardison making out with Parker on cons made him more acutely aware of how much he liked her, even if it had no effect on the theif herself. What could happen if he did this now was anybody's guess, but Eliot didn't really feel like he had a choice right now.

"You're in control," he told Parker as he walked around her in the small space. "Even though you can't see, you have to believe you're in control and that no matter what, you're gonna be okay," he told her gently. "You're right in what you said, you don't know what Vector's gonna do, but you can be in control of how you react".

As he spoke he circled her, stopping at her side, reaching out to tap her on the shoulder. She reacted with a slight movement, an involuntary flinch, but then she smiled.

"That tickled," she told him, making Eliot smile too, in spite of himself.

"See, you didn't kick me in the head, even though you didn't know I was there," he told her, reminding her to breathe the next moment when she seemed to forget.

"I feel stupid," she said, wondering a moment why she got no answer, before realising Eliot didn't want to give himself away by speaking.

His footsteps on the tiled floor were all but silent, even Parker with her finely honed senses wasn't sure where he was now, until suddenly his fingers ran down the length of her arm. She shivered a little at the odd contact, but didn't really react, and certainly not badly.

Eliot was oddly proud of how still and calm Parker looked. After a few moments, no matter where he stood or how he touched her, she hardly reacted at all, and never with a look of panic or violent movement.

"You're a beautiful woman, Alice White," he told her then as he stood unseen before her, and reached out a hand to her cheek.

"Thank you," she said, a little stiff as he leaned in closer, but still not obviously bothered as she forced a smile, "I…"

She couldn't say anymore, because Eliot's lips had come to meet hers in a sweet but firm kiss. There was a second when they both knew she was startled, but all at once she relaxed into the moment, and kissed back with an intensity that stunned Eliot to no end. Her arms crept around his back, his hand sliding from her face into her hair as he pulled her in closer with his other arm.

It was a good couple of minutes later when the two of them finally came up for air, staring into each others eyes with twin looks of confusion and a mist of passion that seemed to have come from nowhere,.

"I think I'm all prepped now," she said breathlessly, disentangling her limbs from Eliot's own.

"Er, yeah, I think so," he replied, pushing his hair back off his face as they put a few feet between them, as many as the bathroom would allow anyway.

The next second she was at the door, but he wouldn't let her go without one more thing being said.

"Hey, Parker?" he called and was glad that she took a moment to turn back and look at him again. "If he hurts you, I'll kill him," he swore.

The smile he received for that comment was worth a thousand kisses like the one they just shared.

Eliot walked out of the bathroom a moment later with a grin on his face that nothing was going to shift, though he had to wonder who really learnt the biggest lesson this morning. Somehow, he didn't really think it was Parker.

The End


End file.
